Primary - A Poem

Primary

I dove.

But first I was enticed by the icy water at my toes.

I know she is from whence i’ve come, i’ve been told

by the neighbor’s white pine.

I waded in, called.

I sent my family away to screams and squeals

of playground equipment awakening, us all.

This first summer’s day still in May, Pachama

paying no mind to what others assign her name

her being belittles expectations.

I sent them away to be alone

with this cold mother,

fathomless wonder.

I needed to go under.

I marveled at the murk - unfettered

yet for the season, My fear just as ambiguous.

I pushed through.

Until my feet were clear beneath the surface.

Still hesitating, laughter rose as the waves

playfully threatened to do the job

themselves. i let them prepare me

like so many dreams in dimly lit chambers

attendants & anointments unnamed

and without faces.

I plunged.

Embraced, submerged, divine.

I baptized myself,

A primary source.